A little piece of my heart...

....I left it in Africa.

Me and some girls from my Africa team taught an African game yesterday during Global Ministries Conference. (and I have horrible grammar:) (Just for Kerri....it was the "HO" game...and we all missed you and how you say it. :) I got to wear my (freeeeeezing cold) African garb and I taught the game to all these students and mission reps. It was SO awesome to teach something that we learned over there. Buel would be proud...he taught us that game. :) But it made me want to go back even more. Since I've been at school I've been thinking about Africa WA-HAY more than I did when I first got back. Now I could talk about it forever and a day and I LOVE to look at my pictures. I don't even know how many times I've randomly thought about it in class or chapel and jsut wanted to cry. And I don't know how many times I've cried over it! Ho man....Sierra Leone is one sucky place, and I was there, and now my heart just breaks for those people.

That kinda freaks me out. Cuz I'm like, YEAH I wanna go back. But if I do, I think it will be WAY harder to leave the second time. So for now I'm just telling people about it. I'm doing my speech for Public Speaking class on the women of Sierra Leone. Seriously, NO ONE knows what went on there for 10 stinking years. How ridiculous is that? It makes me mad. :) So I'm telling my class about for starters...we'll see what else I can do from here.

I was such an angry person the other day, and I don't even know why. I used to get angry really easily, but not so much any more. I'm getting better anyway. But on Friday I was sooooo angry with a whole shwackload of people for really really stupid reasons. I don't know what was with me, but I'm glad Robyn was around. She kind of understood. :) She was sort of ticked, too. We had fun with that. :)

Yesterday I had a really good talk with my REALLY GOOD FRIEND Jenice. I love that girl. It's funny how I never realize how frustrated I am until I talk to someone about an issue and WHABAM! TEARS!!! I hate tears sometimes....most of the time. But it was so good to get it out. Jenice isn't afraid to challenge me...even though she knows I'm so pickin stubborn. :) I appreciate that alot. Thank goodness for understanding and challenging people.

Anyhoo....I'm gonna go fill my water bottle. YAY! What was lost is found! :) I missed the little guy. :) Malawei...

*Yeama

Procrastination...how I love thee.

Ok, not really. I hate procrastinating, especially when I have buttloads of stuff to do. But whatever. :)

I've been watching my brother's v-ball tournament this weekend, and I just LOVE it. He's awesome! But it's so weird to see him play on a HIGHSCHOOL team. I never got to see him play last year, and now he's like, the go-to guy on the team in a tight spot. Yep. It makes me proud to watch him, especially when he wins the last point 2 games in a row on a SWEET play. :)

I really REALLY do not want to be where I am right now. I keep thinking that the future is going to be so much better. But that's really scary...cuz then I miss today it seems. And really, the future isn't really going to be all that great. I'm starting to freak out a little when people ask me what I'm doing next year. I don't KNOW! I don't even know what I want to do. Well...not true. I know some things, but I'm not like, "I am GOING to be a teacher." Or whatever. I used to want to be, but now I'm like, 4 more years of school, bleh. No way. I'm pretty sure I want to move out. I know my parents do not like that idea, but I've always wanted to do that. Live with a girlfriend...learn to pay bills and cook and all that stuff. Really I know it's not like, glamorous or anything, but I think I should do it, at least for a while.

There is alot of stuff I want to do, if I'm being honest, but my mindset is that most of them are impossible, or like, possible waaaay down the road. Some things are sort of little, like a road trip to Ontario, I would just LOVE to do that. Go see my grandparents and go boating and swimming and stay in the old "cat room" :) and see my cousins. Ho dang...that would be awesome. But that's sort of one of those things that uh, you need MONEY to do, and so I really can't do that for a while. Just like most other things I want to do.

So right now I don't really like where I am. I don't want to be at school, but I do. I don't want to be working, but I do. Everything is so up in the air...and I really don't like that feeling. I was going to say, "I really need something that I can be totally sure of." But I have that. I am totally sure of God and I'm learning to be totally sure of who I am in him. So I guess that all that other stuff is sort of secondary. I don't have to stress about next year. I don't have to stress about stupid situations at school or with friends from home.

If only I thought like that all the time. :) Oh well....it's coming more naturally now. That's a good sign. Now I REALLY need to go work on my speech. At least I know what I'm doing it on now...that's one step in the right direction. :) Ok. Caitlin....OUT!

*Saffron - my name from my care group's Hippie Night. I like it actually. I always knew I should have been a real hippie. :)

"Lazy.,...I wanna be Lazy..."

Good song. Oh Bing Crosby, how I love you. Now I wanna watch Holiday Inn.

Wow....what an incredibly lazy weekend. My no-homework-night turned into a no-homework-weekend. I'm ok with that. :) I brought two girls home for supper tonight, and it was really good. Haley and Michelle...they're both in my caregroup, and just the funniest girls ever. I say that alot of people are the "funniest ever", but they really are. :) And of course my littlest sister stole the show and made us all laugh with her "teenager" antics. She's pro at "WhatEVER" and "totally" and the classic Wilson eye-roll. Fun.

My roommate and I were SO weird today. We were just bored, but we wanted to do something, but there was nothing we wanted to do and we sure as heck did not want to do homework. So, we went to get hot chocolate, and then we asked Brandi if we could watch a movie. So we watched The Lakehouse, and I was SOOOOOO angry at that movie, ho man. But it was really good. Really confusing, but really good.

Yesterday my care group and brother care group did the voice recording/voice overs for our chapel on Wednesday. It was SO much fun! The guys in our brother care group are so awesome...we had random good times. At one point it was just me...and all the guys. Wow. They were crazy....Troy demonstrated the voice he had in mind for one of my characters...and it just freaked me right out. And then Jon practiced his "angry native voice"...wow. that is funny stuff. So we basically just laughed alot and I tried really hard not to feel like a retard doing my recording in front of all of them. :)

Anyhoo...I'm sick of writing about how much homework I have to do so...I'm gonna go do homework. :) Later days.

*Wilson

"Why'd you have to be so cute?... :)

It's impossible to ignore you...must you make me laugh so much? It's bad enough we get along so well..."

HA! What a ridiculous song. But I love Imogen. My roommate and I were listening to that song like, 2 weeks ago I think. I heard those lyrics and just laughed my head off! I was like, "Ho man! That is BRUTAL!!!" And Rachelle thought it was sooooo funny....so we typed up the words and made a little sign that's now on our door. There's another song we did that with, too, but I won't share it on here. Ha ha.

Soo....my little carousel has slowed down....just a little. I don' t think I've ever learned so much in such a short time span. Craziness. It's kind of cool though, I think that I'm also alot more open to learning and changing than I have been before. Hopefully my brain doesn't explode before next semester though....I'm taking Family Studies, and apparently that class is one of those, "So hard, but SO good" classes. Yep. I'm excited.

I feel like I'm the boring upperclassman who never talks to anyone, always does homework, and always goes to bed early...I HATE that!!! But I'm so busy, I seriously have to shedule in time ot have fun. How stupid is that? But I've decided that tomorrow night is NO HOMEWORK NIGHT!!! Huzzah! :) I'm pumped for that, hopefully there's some other random upperclassman who also vouched for a no-homework-night. There won't be too many of them. :)

I just watched my brother play volleyball with his highschool team against some random guys from my school, and it was sweet. I like watching him play. I wish I wasn't so freaking busy, then I would go watch him all the time. Sigh.....

Anyhoo...there's alot more I could write about...but I'll spare you. Just thought I'd give y'all a sort of update on my life. You know, since I NEVER call any of you or e-mail or ANYTHING!!! Bah!!! I apologize. But Kels, I will call you one of these days...and Amber, too. :) Later days...

*Caitlin

"I'm gonna suction my ear to your head, Sarah!"
-Haley, from my caregroup, I think during a wrestling match...

"Saxaphones are evil because they're shaped like a serpent and begin with 'sax'."
- Oh I love that one.... from our wonderful choir teacher, John Bell. :)

Ho MAN I miss Africa.

CRAZY! I just talked to my dear friend Brima from Africa!!! It was insane. I came out of the laundry room and saw two of my teammates on the phone. One of them said something about Sierra Leone, and i was like, "WHO are you talking to?!?" They told me it was Brima and then handed me the phone! I was just freaking out, I was SOOO excited. So we talked and LAUGHED a whole bunch...and after like, every sentence he was like, "Oh. It is so good to hear your voice! So good to talk to you. You know...we miss you guys so much." And he talked about a mile a minute...I was laughing so hard. Oh wow.

My roommate was right, today is a good day. She told me yesterday to get up the first time my alarm went off, sit up in bed, and say, "Today is going to be a good day!" I didn't actually SAY it this morning, but I did think about how I was supposed to say it. :) But so far SOOOOO good. :) Oh wow. Craziness.

AND my friend Robyn officially has a boyfriend. Holy crap, that is so weird, but really cool. She came and told me last night, and we freaked out and screamed together. It was awesome. So hopefully it will keep going so well. :)

ANYWAY....I need to go. I actually reeeeeeeally need to do some serious homework right now.

And my crazy little carousel keeps spinning round and round....

*Yeama

My love fern is sick...

...what a sad sad thing that is. :)

Today was the least awkward girls' open dorms ever. It was actually pretty fun. All these random guys that I rarely talk to or hang out with came to my room and stayed for a long time. One guy talked to me about Africa for a while, so that was fun. Some random freshman guy came and asked me all these questions about myself, so that was kind of awkward...and my roommate laughed at me. :) We had some good times. We wrote "Smooch" and "Rizzo" (our nicknames) on our windows last night, totally procrastinated on our Hermeneutics papers, admired our "distracting" room, and wrote down a whole shwackload of quotes. Apparently like, EVERYTHING I said was funny last night. :) Yep...we have fun. I'm SO glad that things are going well with the roommate thing so far.

I'm not feeling quite so overwhelmed and stressed out about my life these days....and that is SO awesome. Care Groups started on Thursday, and we had alot of fun in our group. Then we had a picnic breakfast on Day of Prayer. I just LOVE the girls in my care group, and my care leader is just amazing. We've had some really really good talks, she's a huge encouragement.

oh yeah...my now married friend Ashley BUDD (Lupo) gave me the nicest gift ever last weekend. I came home from an interesting weekend in Edmonton (YAY PHANTOM!!!) and on my bed was this amazing QUILT! I was SO excited...I've always wanted a quilt, and it's random bright colours, which I love. So I grabbed the card, and the whole time I read it I could NOT figure out who it was from. I read the name at the end and just started crying! :) I could not believe that it was from Ash. She wrote the nicest note and she had been working on it for like, 2 years. :) So I saw her today and gave her a big hug. It was so nice. I've missed her alot...but I think things are going to get a little better now.

Ok, there's like 50 million annoying mushy couples around me right now...so I am really feeling the love. Ho man...so brutal. I'm gonna go read....yaaayyyyy...

*Caitlin

A guy at work day pulling up a daisy plant: "Everyone thinks these are weeds. They're not weeds, they're FLOWERS!" ha!

"Don't melt, don't melt! Think cold thoughts!" -Karen from my floor

"9 times 7 is 16." -Haley in my care group...just one of the funniest girls ever... :)