Brain puke...enjoy...

Wow, it's been almost a week already. Feels like forever.

I'm kind of at the point where I would REALLY love to know what's going on in my head. My thoughts change at an alarmingly rapid pace...and I have a hard time keeping tabs on what's up in there. Oh brother. I've definitely gotten to this point before, but not really this year. I think that's cuz I had my roommate to talk with like, every night. And she's really good at making sense of...me. :)

ANYWAY. I think I'm just going to get more confused if I keep thinking about how confused I am and can't STOP being....yeah.

Camp training was this weekend. It was.....good actually. Considering how full my brain was already going into it. Now it's even more full, and I'm not really sure how that's going to work out over the summer. But I'm SO excited to work with all the staff...the girls especially. Ashley Braun is coming for two weeks, which I can hardly believe, but it's SOOOOO COOL! I just absolutely "love her butt", as my teammate Chris would say. Ha! :) And Kelsey will be there for a while, so I'm sure we'll have many talks in the outhouse after the night bell rings. I mean....

Yeah. It was really REALLY strange to be the oldest girl there, but I kind of like it, too. I'm not worried about the staff girls at all. I'm so excited to see them challenged and kick butt. There is a whole lot of pressure on me (I feel) and I KNOW there will be alot of times when I decide how I'm going to deal with that pressure. I already had to choose how I would handle the very minimal "pressure" this weekend, and I already screwed up. I think anyway. :) But whatever, I also know that I will learn a ton this summer, which totally freaks me out, but IT'S ALL GOING TO BE OK! That's what I keep telling myself anyway. (Just call me Lady Cynical....or something)

I had a good talk with my good director friend Darren last night. It was VERY interesting, we covered a large variety of topics :), but I'm really glad he'll be around for most of the summer. He said that he's worked with me lots, but he feels like he just knows things about me, he doesn't KNOW me. I was like, "Mmhmm...and part of me likes that. I don't really want you to know me." But the other part of me really hates that. I am a paradox. (I think that's the word) And I also kind of like AND hate that, too. Wow. ANYWAY....Darren told me to "let us in, Caitlin"....and that is a HUGE HUGE thing to ask of me, or so I think, but I can definitely see that as something I have realized that I need to do with...people...in general. I have NO idea how to go about that, only God can help me figure that out.

I also had a good talk with Kelsey last night. We were SUPPOSED to be sleeping, but I think she really needed to get some stuff out of her emotional system. :) I know how that is, so we talked, and it was great. We giggled alot, and we did the, "Oh WOW....you do that, too? I'm so glad I'm not the only one." Funny how we always think we're the only ones dealing with something, and we pretty much NEVER are. Anyway, we talked for a while and then had some troubles staying awake in church this morning. :) Girls.

Ok....I guess that was what you could call "brain puke". How you must hate me now. :) In the words of the most WICKED Saturday morning show EVER..... "Later days!"

*Caitlin

I love Sharkboy and Lavagirl!!!

Ha ha. What a retarded and AWESOME show. Sharkboy and Lavagirl is officially my first 3D movie. :) I watched part of it yesterday with Amber and her brother and sister (Brayden and Amy) oh wow...it was SO "corny", in the words of Mr. Badger, but I laughed so much. Good times.

Yes, I stayed over at Am and Kelsey's on Friday night and WOW. I haven't laughed SO hard for SO long since...I don't even know when. (Probably since a late late LATE night talk with my random roommate and dear friend Kendra.) Wow...we watched America's Funniest Home Videos, Elektra (which was sweet) and talked and giggled until the wee hours of the morning. Their poor parents. :) We also ate pizza while we watched the OILERS play, which I thought was a very guy-ish thing to do with our evening. :)

I got a whole bunch of e-mails today from school people and now I miss school SO much. It's crazy. I spent half of my time there COUNTING the days until school was done, and now I can hardly wait to get back! :) I also got my "Upperclass Update" and was reminded that I'm not a freshman anymore...which is SOOOOO incredibly weird to me. Like, WEIRD. :) But so exciting. It was also extremely weird to check the box beside "Graduating" on my class regisration form the other day. :) If everyone sticks with the plan, alot of my friends will also be graduating, and I'm sure that we'll all have a very tearful day at Grad. :) ANYWAY....that's so far into the future, I can't even start thinking about that. Oh brother.

Anyway...I really should go. I will definitely post again before camp...malawei...

*Caitlin

another countdown....

12 DAYS TIL CAMP, BABY!!!! Yeh-yeah. I am SO pumped.

Oh. My. WORD.

Last night I went to a super-fun youth group...we played baseball at a church family's house. It was grand. I made it home ONCE, Jeremy made me the "team captain" for no reason at all, and Ashley Braun got SMOKED by a line drive RIGHT in the shin. Oh wow...it was funny. She just kind of flopped over onto her back and moaned/laughed/wailed all at once. I laughed. Alot. Then we hit/caught balls for a while and I was pretty good (ha) and then Ash and I played catch with Justin and Darren. Wow, they're great. We had SO much fun! Then Ashley and I did the Funky Chicken with my sister and her friend, Ana, on the trampoline. THAT was also extremely funny. I haven't laughed so much in a long time. :) Some of the boys shot off fireworks and one shook the ground. OH NO!!! :)

I worked a 10 hour day at the depot today...my first one ever. How pathetic is that? :) But it was actually a fast day. Everyone left when they were supposed to except for me and Josh. I did paperwork stuff and he cleaned up, and then we got slushies! Woot woot! It was great....I like him alot more than I used to, and that's definitely saying something. :) No really, he's a good guy. I can't believe I used to hate him SO much.

So now I'm off to finish planning some "Gang Time" for camp. BAH!!!! I keep shooting down all of my own ideas, and that's not really helpful in the creative process. :) So I think I'm gonna check out some websites and see what I can come up with. Roger. Over and out.

*Caitlin

My life and all its madness...

Oh yes. The madness. :) I'm trying to figure out the last like, year. :) School and everything involved in that, training for my trip, going to AFRICA, and now coming home and going to camp in two weeks. I can't believe how much is going on in my head right now. I seriously thought I was loosing my mind the other day. I just had to get away. So I ran. :) I went for a run/jog/walk down this LONG dirt road and just cried and talked with God and eventually sang. It was great. I don't really know if my life is as comlicated as it sometimes seems, but I definitely have discovered the necessity of just giving God all my issues. It's much easier to let him deal with them and then figure out a solution with his help. :)

Anyway.

I talked to Darren, my camp director yesterday, and now I'm SO pumped for camp. He asked how I want to change this summer and how he can help with that. I told him that I really want to be able to be more creative and confident. That sounds so general. :) I want to be confident enough in my creativity and ideas that I can share them with people and get a big picture...a vision...and just go with it. I'm reeeeeeally bad at that. :) So yeah, apparently I'm the oldest girl out there this summer, and I'll be "setting the tone" for all the female staff. All the stuff Darren talked about puts alot more pressure on me, but surprisingly I don't really care. I'm SO PUMPED!!! Ho man. :) I also have to sing and play piano, which sort of freaks me out, but whatever. I'm just gonna do it. :) Ha...I'm sure I'll learn a billion other lessons about trusting in God this summer. Just like LAST summer...and last week...and yesterday! :) Oh brother.

I worked with my dear "best friend" Davis today. Wow...that was FUN!!! He is so awesome. We are so random, and we were so slow cuz we just talked the entire time. I'm sure Brayden and Logan were annoyed with us, but whatever. He's so great. He wants to start a band (not really) and apparently I'm the lead singer/screamer. Ha! He's like, "I'm sort of serious. If we actually could, I would, and you would be." Yeah, riiiiight. Oh wow, I love that boy.

I picked up my (hot) dress for my friend Ashley's wedding today, and now I'm DANG excited for that, too. It will be super SUPER weird, but so much fun. So many people will be there that I won't really see all summer....oh wow. And there's a dance! Oh I love dancing. :) PLUS I get to wear a sweet dress and get my hair done and hang out with cool people all day...what more could I ask for? :)

Ok, I'm gonna go now. Toodles!!!

*Caitlin