My love/hate relationship with school.

Wow. We had the most amazing chapel yesterday. I can't go into detail, but one girl gave her testimony and it was just exactly what I needed to hear. I've kind of been really passive the last little while. I see something that just isn't right and I don't do anything to change it. That is NOT like me AT ALL...so I thought I was doing good at not being too agressive and/or critical. I also thought that I was trusting God by just going with the flow. BUT I don't think that's right anymore. Trusting God doesn't mean sitting around waiting for things to change. I may have to wait for some things sometimes, but if something is actually wrong...I think I should act.

We also talked today in Family Studies about not being controlled by people. I NEVER would have said that I have an issue with that, but I do. And I see how I have let that happen. So my roommate made a suggestion, I talked to my discipler, and I'm going to talk to my Family Studies prof. about it. We'll see what happens. I just don't want to speak or act hastily. I also tend to do that. It's like I went from one extreme to the other. And now I'm trying to find a happy medium.

My friend Jenice and I also had some good talks yesterday and today. I LOVE my friends. HO man...so much. We can not see each other and really connect for months on end and then when we do talk, somehow we still have this ability to talk and bond and connect at a deep level. I LOVE it! Ashley Braun, one of my best friends in the whole world, is one of those friends that I never see. But every time we talk we both can share and open up and challenge the other person. It is just the hugest blessing. And Jenice and I always have CRAZY fun...we are ridiculous sometimes, but we can also have really REALLY amazing talks. It was really really good to catch up with her yesterday and see how she's doing.

I also talked with my camp director on Monday. It was actually really good. He used to intimidate the heck out of me, but I've grown much more confident in the last couple of years...or just months. :) So we had a good talk and he encouraged me to make a meeting with an advisor at the college in GP about what I need to do in order to go to school there. I don't even know if I want to go to school there or what I would take, but he said it would be a really good idea. So it was really cool to talk with him, too. He's so weird.....and I mean that in the nicest way possible...and I really respect him TONS. And talking with him about camp made me really not want to be here. :) BUT I know I'm supposed to be. I'm learning so much and being challenged like, every second!

Anyway. I should do homework. I have been the world's hugest slacker for the last 2 weeks. It's gonna catch up to me eventually though. I better get cracking. :) Dang, sometimes I LOVE it here, and sometimes I just want to be anywhere BUT here. What a strange relationship I have with my school... :)

"I'm still waiting for the rain to fall...pouring life down on me. Cause I can't hold on to anything this good enough. Am I good enough for you to love me too?" - Oh Amy Lee. :)

*C