boredom...

...sucks rocks.

Seriously. A few weeks ago I would have given anything for a little time to myself to sit and just think and write. Now I have WAY too much of that and I'm going out of my mind. :) I've never been on the internet for so long EVER in my relatively short existence.

Last night Ash B. (my dear dear dear friend and fellow Ro-tic V. Woman :) came out to Sexsmith and we just walked around (in our Ro-tic Night shirts :) and took random pictures of us jumping and doing random things. :) Then we went back to my house and listened to my beloved John Mayer and looked at bride magazines and laughed at a gross man with white wig. It was just glorious. I love that girl.

And I am suddenly getting a bazillion phone calls and faxes and such. So I'm off and shall return victorious. :)

Full Circle

So, after a long, tiring, exciting, different, hard, CRAZY summer....I have returned to the world of the web log. :) Sorry for those of you who actually read this once in a while....this thing called camp (and Facebook) happened and suddenly I had nothing interesting to write about. NOT. I'm just lazy.

Camp summer #5 was the weirdest ever. Music was, in a camp word, GLORIOUS. :) I had SO much fun leading with Mr. Devin Landis (also.known.as. Princess Sparkles) and it was the hugest relief that we actually work well together. I was kind of apprehensive about it at the beginning, but it turned out awesome. Counselling was weird this summer. I felt really done with it....kind of like I need to move on or something. I'm not entirely sure how to explain it, but basically now I'm not sure if I'll be there next summer. We'll see.

Plans for the coming year are a little up in the air right now. They've changed ALOT since I wrote here last. I'm still moving to GP in like, 2 weeks with my dear Kristine and a few other ex-PRBI girls. BUT since May-ish I've been thinking about this ministry school in the States. Actually I started thinking about it in January but was just freaked out about it and made excuses about how I already had plans. During camp I was feeling VERY dissatisfied with my "plans" and started seriously thinking about this school, but I had no idea how to find out about it or what it was even called. THEN I found out that Devin is going down there this semester so I asked him about it and sort of got some info and now I'm definitely planning on going. I'm hoping to get in for January as sort of a 2nd semester deal, but if I can't do that I'll probably go next September, which would kind of suck, but I can suck it up. :)

So yeah, I'm just SO stoked about these new plans of mine. :) I would go for music stuff, which I love and want to do forever, so I feel like I would actually be doing something worthwhile. I could do stuff with recording, songwriting, and leading worship. I've done leading stuff before but I've never really learned the Biblical basics I guess you could say. AND the school is in Oklahoma, so I've definitely never been there and don't really know anyone who's going, so it's kind of an adventure in a way. I did tell Ashley Braun that she should come with me, but I don't know if she will, but even if she did I think it will be fun to go somewhere where I don't know anyone.

Anyhoo. I'm done. :) Oh, except for the part where I wanted to say WalMart Forever to my two RO-TIC girls. I had a glorious girls night with them last night and we commemorated it with some cheapie "band" shirts from WalMart. "Give peace a chance." :) I love you Am and Ash.

And thus concludes my long overdue update. :)

*Caitlin
also.known.as. "Posh"

I really have nothing to say. EXCEPT that I played football with some people from my church today (people as in my age or a year older :) And I, Caitlin Wilson: World's Least Athletic/Sports Oriented Person EVER....caught the football AND managed to run a little way with it. Wow. I am amazed. :) It was actually really fun and usually I hate doing stuff like that with people who actually know what they're doing. :)

Kelsey, Robyn, and I went to this so-called "rave" last night. There was like, no one there, but we made the best of it and danced our little butts off. It was really fun. (There's pictures on my Facebook page.) Dancing is definitely more me and Kels' thing, but Robyn totally got into it, too. It was awesome.

Today I had my first real chance to use my first-aid, and I chickened out! :) Justin popped his shoulder out (again) and I was like, uh........go see my mom! So he was probably in better hands anyway.

Sexsmith's highschool grad was this weekend, and WOW...I just want to do grad again! Everyone who gradded looked super young to me. I didn't really feel old, they just looked young. :) But I'm just not ready for this week to start. The weekend was fun, and I have to work at 8 tomorrow. I also have a bunch of stuff to do for camp. I can't decide how I feel about that. :) We'll see how it goes when I work on it next.

Anyhoo.....I'm off. Chow.

*CNR

oh strange me

So...nothing spectacular has happened since I last posted. Oh wait....I just thought of some things that are pretty dang close to spectacular... On the long weekend...so...last weekend...my family went to BC on a sort of missions trip and I stayed home all alone. Don't get me wrong, I love being at home alone! :) I totally psyched myself out a few times late a night, but whatever. I like it. I had a bunch of girls over one night and oh my word did we have fun! We had a chocolate fondue....like....ALOT of chocolate and ALOT of fruit....and talked and laughed and danced...it was grand. When the thunderstorm hit we were (almost) all really excited. I love thunderstorms. So one of the girls suggested we run out in the hail. I knew it would hurt, but we did it anyway. We must have looked absolutely retarded, it hurt like the dickens, but I don't think I've laughed that hard in a long time. :) It was seriously the most fun I've had in months. We'll do it again sometime. :) I'm definitely still LOVING my job. I'm actually going to be very sad when my time there is finished. :) Tomorrow the end of my first month, and I only have another month after that. My boss and I get along SO well....I really enjoy working with her. Yesterday I figured something out on the computer (which is random...I am NOT a computer wiz) and she grabbed me and hugged me and said, "Oh I'm SO EXCITED, Caitlin!!! You're brilliant!" And I was pretty freaked out, but it was cool. I laughed. I feel like in the last couple of weeks I've become really different, in a good way. I come home from work and don't immediately book it down the stairs for the sweet solitude of my room. I play with my little sister (youngest one) almost every day. We made up names for each other....She's *Puddin'*, I'm "Body". Don't ask why. Today we decided that the twins are Peanut and Nougat...and my next bro decided his own name: "Pipes". Gimme a break. :) I'm starting to get over my literally paralyzing fear of dogs...I have to walk past two every morning. And today I walked home in my bare feet because my cute-but-painful pointy-toed shoes killed my feet today at work. :) So in general yeah, I feel different, but good. So good. I don't feel dependent on anyone for how my day goes or to listen to me. Not to say that I never talk to anyone, but it's not like my day totally sucks if something doesn't go as I planned or someone "isn't there for me." You know what I'm saying? I've been going to God more with my issues, and I've SEEN the results of that. It's incredible. I know it's happened before, but now I'm just so much more aware of that and excited about it. I feel more confident than I EVER have, and I'm totally becoming more patient with people. I'm so stoked about camp...it almost outweighs the nerves. :) I have no idea what to expect, as usual, and as usual that bugs me. But God has it all worked out and I have total confidence that he's going to do some incredible things. That alone makes any nerves or fears or insecurities seem ridiculous. BUT...they're still there. I won't deny that. Anyway. This is quite long enough. If my internet fails me now, I will probably roll my eyes and try again another time. :) Adios. *C

Just wanted to do a quick quasi update. :) I'm still loving the job at the library!!! I'm starting to really build some relationships with some of the kids there, and I just LOVE that!!! It gets me so excited.

I had my camp "interview" of sorts on Monday. It was pretty good actually. I wasn't nervous at all, but then I felt like an absolute moron when I couldn't answer half of the questions. :) Oh well. I'm already hired. :) I'm more nervous about camp than I thought I would be...It's going to be different AGAIN. :) But that also makes me really excited. I just hope that I can tackle the music thing this time around. I get to work with a guy who's been at camp for a while, and I'm pretty sure I'll like working with him, so that's sweet. I love it, so it WILL be good, it just gets harder and better every year, so I'm nervous about the "harder" part and incredibly pumped about the "better" part. :)

Random event....Jenice and I bummed around at her parents' house on Saturday...and we had oh so much fun! We called some people, but no one showed up, which wasn't really surprising. So we chilled in the hammock, ate some amazing s'mores, and then got a canoe and putzed around on her pond. THAT was SOOOO sweet! I just love canoeing, and apparently that surprised Jenice. :) We saw the sickest creature EVER though. I was right: it was a muskrat. And I'll be happy if I never ever see one of those buggers again. :)

Anyway. I'm off to bed. 6:45 comes way too fast these days. :) "Uno Bago" from the crazy work experience kids! :)

*Caitlin

Random Facts...

Here you go. Kristine and I decided to do this thing in like April, and I had it all written out but now had to change some of it. :) Kristine: I finally did it!!! :) Enjoy.

10 Random things about me:
- I laugh like a man when I'm sick
- I do a mean granny impression
- I almost always sit with my legs crossed "Indian style"
- I sort all my coloured candy by colour
- My eyes turn bright green when I cry
- I played "pioneers" and dress-up until like grade 9
- 5 of my fav things are fireworks, swings, crazy pillows, minor keys, and GOOD hugs
- One of my fav places is the upper campfire at Camp Wapiti
- I use way too much conditioner and fabric softener
- I love going to CFL football games...Go Argos!

9 ways to win my heart:
- be totally sold out for Christ
- make me laugh
- write letters
- tulips are always good :)
- be honest and straightforward
- be real and vulnerable
- plan something unique
- don't tell me I'm right when I'm possibly wrong
- like shopping in antique stores as much as I do............or maybe not.

8 things I always carry or wear:
- keys
- not socks if I can help it
- mascara...religiously
- wishes
- questions
- braces
- black
- scars

7 things that annoy me:
- any sort of mouth noise.....like ANY :)
- not knowing what's going on
- pants that are too short
- when no one takes action
- snoring or thrashing around in bed (aka my sister :)
- affectionate nicknames
- hair or toothpaste in the sink

6 places I have been:
- Sierra Leone, West Africa
- Oregon
- Kentucky
- East Coast
- Toronto
- Prince George!!! Woo hoo!!!

5 things I want to do before I die:
- go back to Africa!!!
- Visit Europe....or just travel period.
- be a mom
- renovate a house
- know what I want to be when I grow up

4 things that scare the crap out of me:
- heights and depths
- the bottom of lakes/the ocean
- anything really fast or dangerous
- little kids and sharp corners

3 things I do every day:
- laugh
- wash my face
- wonder about my future

2 things I'm trying not to do:
- be impatient/antsy
- shoot down all of my own ideas

1 person I would love to see right now:
- Ashley Braun!!! :)

can't shake this...

I just watched a whole bunch of videos about Sierra Leone on YouTube. I've said it before and I'll say it again: It's like I can't get it out of my mind.

Some of those videos were brutal, some were SO exciting. I heard on one a song that people in Pendembu sang to us....and I saw this crazy bridge that we crossed. But I saw people being brutalized and killed in other ones. I think I'm crazy for wanting to go back. I really did not enjoy my time there. I felt like crap and couldn't eat much of anything for most of the time. The heat makes me feel sick and the culture is just SO completely different from ours. I don't know why I'd ever want to go back. But my heart just breaks for the people there. That can only be from God. There's no way on earth that I am capable of that kind of compassion without Him.

It's different from your typical World Vision commercial type sadness or "compassion"....this is like, I see a face...a woman....a little child, and it's like I know them. The thought that I might have met her or been there and given the people just a little tiny bit of hope....that makes it so much more exciting and doesn't even compare to the difficult health or climate or culture. I just hate that I don't know what to do with this. Going back is a big deal. I'll miss so much here....so many people. And I have this sneaky suspision that saying goodbye for a second time will be even harder than it was last time. I'll want to go back again, I know it.

Oh sigh....what a scary thing to think about. Especially when only God knows what will happen with this....THING....this thing in my heart for Sierra Leone. Please pray for the believers in SL.

*Yeama

Ghost Stories...by Chantal :)

Just thought I'd post some cool lyrics by Chantal Kreviazuk who, by the way, is just an amazingly talented artist and probably one of my favorite singers ever. :)

I know you're really just hurt and afraid
But you pretend that nothing gets to you
I'm not the kind to dance on a grave
But you're the one who gave me these dancing shoes

I can still remember the day
When we first me and I saw myself in you
I don't mean to rain on your parade but the sky's getting dark
And there's nothing that you can do

*Spoke in Tongues*


I don't need to be forgiven
And I don't want your sympathy
It's a mad, mad world
But it's still turning

Don't want to get too complicated
But it gets so dark that I can't see
Yeah it's a mad, mad world
But I'm hoping

I'm waiting for the sun to shine
I'll wait until the day I die
I'm waiting for the sun to shine
I'll wait until the day I die

I'm tired of living in the shadows
But I'm not giving up on me
Yeah it's a sad, sad world
But I'm waiting

I can't worry about tomorrow
Or what each new day's gonna bring
Cause every dark cloud has a silver lining

*Waiting for the Sun*


It's mother's birthday
She's 40 years
I don't know what to send
I'll buy her roses
Or cry her tears
But she'll just give them away

...Why'd I have to grow up so fast?
I just want to stay here and laugh
Oh we only
Oh we only blow away

*Grow Up So Fast*

A child is born
A life begins
To take and hurt
A precious gift

When I'm alone
It all hits home
Don't it all just seem a little much?

*Wendy House*

And the award for hottest librarian...

....goes to none other than Sexsmith's very own CAITLIN WILSON!!!

(applause)

And....I don't feel like typing out my acceptance speech. :) Basically I'm just in a strange mood and needed some sort of intro to my "funny story" from Rachelle, a girl in my youth group. :) In a random string of events and one phone call, I am now the "Library Assistant" at Sexsmith Secondary and just loving it! Lots of girls from my youth group go there and come visit me, and this girl, Rachelle came yesterday to tell me what she called "the funny story." Basically she just overheard a bunch of gr. 11 boys talking about the "hot" new librarian, she realized that it was ME they were talking about, and she laughed and came to tell me. :) It was funny mostly just because she found it so embarrassing. :) But I just LOVE my job and it pays way better than I expected AND I'm done at 3:30 every day. It's a huge answer to prayer. AND there's even a girl who does her work experience in the library whose favourite band is Evanescence...which is mine, too. So we clicked and now her headphones aren't constantly in her ears while she works...she'll talk a little bit, too. She's really cool. Oh man, I just love that I got this job.

Other than that my life has been pretty quiet since the end of school. I finally got to hang out with Am and Kels on the weekend, that was exciting, and other than that I've just been working, going for walks, painting, and TRYING to go to bed early so I can wake up on time to get to work at 8. :) I just sort of realized yesterday that school is done and I miss people like CRAZY!!!! I miss talking to my roommate every night in our beds when we should be sleeping. :) And I really miss just seeing random people around and talking about really cool stuff. I just really loved school, and now it's done, and I'm sad. :) Why it's so difficult for me to explain that simply I don't know.


Camp is coming soon...faster than I think, and my thoughts and feelings about it vary. But mostly I'm really pumped...REALLY pumped. I love camp. And it seems like every year it gets so much harder (this year is definitely no exception) yet somehow I enjoy it more and am SO blessed by it every year. I'm excited for whatever week it is that these certain girls requested me as their counselor again. I just LOVE love love them to peices and I love that God has given me this phenomenal opportunity and privelege to build relationships with them. Yup. I'm excited.

Anyway....I seriously think that my fingers are going to seize up...I've been typing all day at work and now on the net for a long time. :) Adios amigos...until next time.

*Caitlin
Hottest Librarian 2007